Partying Like It's 1999

Partying like it's 1999 sounds like fun until you realize you're 31 and it's actually 2009. It certainly doesn't get less fun, it's just that the recovery is not as graceful and it takes a lot out of you to do it night after night. And you'd think that after being down this road so many times in the past that I'd know better than to not drink lots of water before passing out. What can I say; my judgement tends to get impaired after a few drinks. When that happens, the following seemed like great ideas at the time:

• Having one more drink.
• Partying in Downey.
• Taking a shot with a random drunk at the bar.

Never party in Downey. Well, let me rephrase that: Never try to party in Downey. We didn't party in Downey. We tried to party in Downey, but Downey wasn't havin' it. We says to Downey:

Can we see some hot chicks? Hell, no! Deuces all around!
How about some ( . Y . ) ? No boob for you! Next!
How about some Denny's? Nyet! There be gangsta shit goin' down so the whole block be on lock down. No one getting in or out.
How about some McD's? Lolz, not open either
How about a shitter so my homey can take a leak? Uh uh. Even the bathroom at Chevron not open for business.

So much fail in so little town. Epic.