Not it

In light of this article, I feel I should post a warning detailing the various side effects my Johnson might have on women. The effects are as follows:

• Heavy breathing
• Curled toes
  
• Swelling of the nipples
• Excessive vaginal moisture
• Temporary blindness*

*Temporary blindness has occurred in rare test cases where the subject's retina comes in contact with a stray rope. This can be avoided via thorough rope ingestion.

Also, let it made clear that there have been no documented cases of Steven's Johnson causing excessive swelling of the abdomen followed by lactation in women.

Steven's Johnson should not be administered to minors.

This is not to be confused with the Stevens-Johnson syndrome in the aforementioned article.

Women have taken Steven's Johnson as part of their religious faith. Soon after injection, subjects are often screaming, "OH, GOD!!!!"